did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
