The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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