All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
