And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
