i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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