like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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