She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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