He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
