There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
