I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
