Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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