this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your dad touched me again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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