wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
