Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
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you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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