Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize