Screwed.edu
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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