All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize