she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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