took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
