I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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