He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
