yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
