First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
