she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
