guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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