kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
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I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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