So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
