your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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