You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
