; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
