i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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