pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
