No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
