I think my vagina is haunted
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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