You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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