I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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