Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
