No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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