It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
