fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
