I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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