Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
