I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
