I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
should my penis look like a turkey
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
