Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
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HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
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