Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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