That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
