I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
