im six kinds of drunk right now
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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