i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
