Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
