If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
