Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize