Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
