i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have post one night stand depression
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