Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize