I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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