Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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