Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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