Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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